si efiL

    For all of you that are sitting there going what the hell kind of title is that just look at it for a little bit.  For those of you that are familiar with these type of puzzles you probably already know the answer, but in case you don't here it is -- Life is Backwards.  That seems like a very simple statement at first glance, but if you really think about it, it is very true.  Everything in life is done backwards.  First we'll talk about how things are and the way they should be.  This is how things are:  First we are conceived and in our mother's for nine months, then we are born and are toddlers, then we are children, then we are teenagers, then we go to college, then we go to work, then we retire, then we die.  Now, I'll explain why that is completely backwards as this is how it should be.
    We are born and we stay at home being a whiny brat just like normal for the first five years of our life (age 0-5).  Then for the next forty years we will work your asses off until we can finally retire (age 37-77).  This is just perfect because when we finally do get to retire then we can enjoy it.  For the next two years we should go to middle school basically because middle school is utterly useless anyway so I had to throw it in somewhere (age 35-37). After we go to middle school, we deserve a little time off since we've just been through that awkward period of our lives, so let's use up some of that retirement time, say five years (age 30-35).  After our break it's off to elementary school (age 5-12) which should be pretty easy considering we've already worked for 40 years and went to middle school.  After elementary school we deserve some time off again, so we take 5 more years off from retirement (age 25-30).  After those five years off I figure it's about time we go to college where it would truly be wonderful since you've already worked forty years and can sit there and tell the teacher 100 times a day that that's not what happens in the real world (age 21-25) this would also be wonderful because then the whole time that you are in college, then you could drink.  After the drinking binges and college course work, we deserve another break to recover, so let's take our remaining time off from retirement and use it the best time we could, from the ages of (12-17).  Wouldn't that just be wonderful.  We could play Little League, hang out with all of our friends and just have a wonderful time with no worries.  Speaking of wonderful times with no worries, then it's time to go to high school for the last years of our lives (age 17-21).  You've already done everything else in life, so you know how wonderful high school really is now and can appreciate it as the simplest funnest times of your life.  It would be so wonderful to end life on the greatest and simplest part.  Most people would have no problem going out with a smile.  And as you're walking off the stage of your high school graduation and you hug your mother, bang, you're back inside her stomach living out your last nine months with no worries dreaming about the wonders of the outside world.
    That's how it should be.  Now, the ages in parenthesis are the ideal ages in my opinion to go through each of these things in life, so that's how old we should be when we go through them.  It would all be so perfect, don't ask me how we can jump from say 35 to 5, but if there was a way, then that's how it should be.  If you are still confused, then just look at it this way.  Your life would go in the order of the words, not the ages.  But, when you were going through that stage of your life, you would be the age in parenthesis.  For example, working should come first in life, but it should take place from ages 37-77.  Then middle which I put at ages 35-37 because it's useless, then when you're done with middle school you retire for five years from ages 30-35.  When you're done with those five years off you should go to elementary school, but you should be ages 5-12 when you go to elementary school.  Basically all the ages add up from 0-77 and you should be able to do a lot of bouncing around in age, because you need to be certain ages when you go through certain stages in your life, but those stages shouldn't necessarily be in chronological order.  Mom and dad, since you're the only two that currently read this, if you don't understand, then ask and I'll explain it because it's much easier than trying to write it down.
    Anyway,  wouldn't it be wonderful for life to be that way.  I would love to get work the hell out of the way early in life so I could enjoy the rest of it and not have to worry about trying to find a job.  It would also be great for people that work all of their lives to be able to enjoy their retirement when they're young instead of when they're old.  Wouldn't it be great to have all of your money saved from your 40 years of working and be able to enjoy from the ages of 25-35.  And wouldn't five years off from age 12-17 be great too when you have so many friends and sleepovers and such.  And for me high school would most certainly be the best way to go out.  I'm writing about this because of an email I got from my mother tonight.  I bought them tickets to go to a concert/dance this weekend and I expressed how much I wished they went out more.  Well, she told me that when my brother and I were younger they wished they had the time and money to go out more, but now that they do, they are more content to just sit home and watch TV.  That just made me think that life is so backwards.  By the time you have the time and resources to enjoy life, life has withered you away to the point that you can't possibly enjoy it.  Or maybe you can and you just have to try harder.  Maybe you have to dig deeper and deeper into your soul and the person you love's to find that joy again.  It's not easy, but it can be done.  Everything in life becomes a routine eventually, and there is nothing more horrible.  Yes, it's impossible to not have routines, everybody does, but they are very dangerous things, you can't keep the same one for too long, otherwise you wake up one day and 20 years have gone by and you have no idea where it went.  That's not living life, that's just going through the motions and there are few things more horrible because there are so many wonderful things to experience in this world.  So, don't let yourself get caught up in the routine of life so long that you forget to live it.
    To me their are two points to life.  One is to lead a good life so that you can get into heaven and two is to have as much fun as you possibly can in life so that you can go out with a smile on your face.  Now, #2 especially includes getting married and having kids because who else could possibly bring you more joy to your life.  If you're not giving yourself a chance to smile every day, then you're not really living.  Now to me, the easiest way to accomplish this is to surround yourself by the people you love as much as possible.  Yes, there will be times that you will laugh together, but there will also be times that you will cry together, however, no matter what, you know that there are some people in this world that will always be there for you whether you are laughing or crying and that's what's important.
    When we leave this world, there is a very simple ceremony that takes place called a funeral.  Now, at this ceremony, nobody has ever seen a car, house, boat, computer, or any other material possession there, so why must we all put so much emphasis on he who dies with the most toys wins.  In my opinion, he who dies with the most friends, the one who was always there when someone needed a shoulder to cry on, the one who broke the most people's hearts a little when they heard the news, the one who touched the most people's lives, that's the only person who wins . . . and wins . . . and keeps on winning for all of eternity.